Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
