OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
