Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
