There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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