She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
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So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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