i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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