Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
