the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
