Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
