I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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