Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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