dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
