My brain says no but my pants say off.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
