Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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