I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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