We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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