doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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