im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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