i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
