I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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