I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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