Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Let's paint friendship bongs
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
