she was so not down for the gang bang
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
