WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
