When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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