My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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