Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
