im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
