my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
