At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
