the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
