took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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