Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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