you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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