i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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