I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
