alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
