O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
