Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
