wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
