Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
