you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You are a genius and a whore.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
