i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
