We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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