In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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