We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
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Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
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My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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