Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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