"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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