WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
