you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
