Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
is that a dick in a sweater?
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