Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
