I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
