hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
