The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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