Buhtt sex?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
