I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
