So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
