This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
