You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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