tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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