i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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